


A Rabbit and His Bond

by jujukittychick



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Gen, Hidden Talents, My First Work in This Fandom, Q (James Bond) is a Holmes, Q Branch is so confused, assassin and hacker Q, borrowed plot line with permission, pre-slash i guess, so are the agents, stop traumatizing the agents please, young Bond and Q
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-11 17:48:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20157604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jujukittychick/pseuds/jujukittychick
Summary: A series of scenes set in the future between a young 007 Bond and hacker/assassin Q after Q begins working at MI6.Follows after the end of Only_1_Truth's storyThe Prince of the House of the Havenotsby permission





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Only_1_Truth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Only_1_Truth/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Prince of the House of the Havenots](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13428096) by [Only_1_Truth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Only_1_Truth/pseuds/Only_1_Truth). 

> This is completely based off of Only_1_Truth's story [The Prince of the House of the Havenots](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13428096) and if you haven't read it then these characterizations and the inside jokes aren't going to make sense (besides that, it's another awesome story by Truth and you should deff go read it). In this, Bond is 25 and a newer 00-agent and Q is a 19 year old (formerly missing) Holmes brother who was raised as an assassin. My characters are probably still a little ooc compared to Truth's but I've tried to keep to the spirit of them.

A slow spread of silence swept from the back of Q-Branch to where Q himself sat at his cubicle working on a string of code, a quiet wave cresting over the shores of the technological hub before the cause blocked out the fluorescent sun overhead. Q didn't bother to look up from his screen. "Bond."

"Rabbit."

Lips pinching in annoyance, Q refused to look back, knowing an amused smirk graced the agent's face. "I've told you not to call me that ridiculous name."

"Yes, but I've been told that calling you 'Q' will cause problems..."

"Like you care about _that_," Q muttered.

Bond's voice was amused as he continued, "Be that as it may, 'Q' is off the table and any other designation seems..."

At the pause, Q did look up, catching the microexpressions denoting irritation (probably thinking of his older brothers) and possibly disgust. He quirked a brow questioningly.

"...wrong." Bond twitched his jacket into straight lines, the smirk returning. "So...Rabbit."

Q rolled his eyes and turned back to his coding. "What do you want, Bond? I'm busy."

"Lunch. Even clever little boffins like you can't live on tea and code alone."

"You know very well I can go for longer periods of time with no sustenance and maintain optimal levels of performance."

"Yes, but does the Quartermaster? I'm sure he would be very upset to learn that his newest, _youngest_, boffin is wearing himself out working nonstop for _hours_ without a break."

Q was already backing out of his programs and setting up the ones that would ensure nobody tampered with his work, a smile tugging at his lips against his will. "Have I told you recently what a bloody annoying pain in the arse you are?"

"As I told our dear Moneypenny, nothing a little lube can't fix." Bond was grinning his shark grin as he backed out of the cubicle farm, completely ignoring the shocked looks on Q's coworkers' faces.

"Oh my God, shut up and go, Bond; I'm coming."

Bond's grin widened as he gave Q a flirtatious wink. "Not yet, you aren't."

The Q-Branch techs, and the quartermaster himself, watched in various states of shock and amusement as Bond dodged a surprisingly well aimed metal stapler thrown at his head by the shy young man that had started working with them the beginning of that week, laughing wickedly the whole time. They watched in awe as the young man in question seemed to morph before their eyes, movements growing more precise as he slung his bag over his shoulder as he stalked toward the amused agent, insults and taunts flying freely between the two as they left the room. It took the Quartermaster calling his department back to order before they were able to pull themselves away from marveling over the easy camaraderie between the odd pair.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bond picked up some new toys on his latest mission. Q is more than happy to help him test them out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol god that summary sounds dirtier than it is, sorry folks, no smut. made a tiny edit at the end of last chapter to give some time frame to things - last chapter was towards the end of the first week Q had with MI6

The silent wave crested over Q-Branch once more, a familiar presence appearing at Q's back as the light was blocked. He didn't stop his typing or bother looking up. "Bond."

"Rabbit."

Q sighed. "Back from your mission then?" It was the first time Bond had been out on a mission in the month since Q'd been employed by MI6.

Bond merely hummed an affirmative, leaning against the desk by Q's arm.

"And you've returned your equipment?"

"What remained of it."

This time Q did look, rolling his eyes at the amused smirk gracing the agent's face. "Yes, I've heard you are quite rough with your toys. Mayhap they should start making them with the destructive tendencies of toddlers in mind."

"Cheeky brat. And after I came all this way to see if you might want to help me test out some new toys I picked up on my trip?"

A short, slim knife was placed flat on the desk next to him, shorter than a pencil and thinner than the mousepad it lay next to, and completely out of sight from any of his neighbors, Bond's finger pinning the blade to the surface for a moment.

Q's screen went dark the same moment Bond pushed away from his desk. Q's hand swiped over his desk as he turned around in his chair, the knife disappearing as a feral grin tilted his lips. "Absolutely."

The Q-Branch minions not-so-casually watched as the two stalked perfectly quietly out of the room, eyes darting frantically from the silent forms to each other to the Quartermaster, unsure what just happened.

~~~

"I'm surprised we had clothes that actually fit you; we don't get a lot of children here."

"Oh my God, Bond, I'm almost 20, not a child. Hell, I'm not that much shorter than you." Q rolled his eyes at the smirking agent as they went through some basic stretches. In the field there wouldn't be time for stretching before a fight, but they weren't in the field and there was no need for pointless injuries. Luckily they did have some work out clothes in various sizes for the in-house agents to use, though Q had a feeling the ones he was wearing probably were meant for some of the female agents. He was almost as tall as Bond, yes, but his frame was much slimmer, much like Sherlock, without the muscular bulk the majority of male agents carried.

"When is your birthday anyway?" Bond asked, looking up from where he was bent over holding his ankles, getting a good view of Q in a stretch much like downward dog, a wide grin appearing as he watched the stretchy shorts mold themselves to the hacker's...assets.

Q looked between his legs, catching the leer on Bond's face. "You are such a lech, old man, I swear. And there's no need for you to know, just soon."

"What? I'm simply admiring the view. You should be flattered." Hopping to his feet, he grabbed one of the knives out of the set he'd picked up, testing the weight as Q followed suit. "Besides, I can simply ask John if you won't tell me next time we meet for a drink."

"Oh yes, your little dates to complain about the three of us brothers." Q rolled his eyes, ignoring the agent's flirting since he'd realized it came to him as easily as breathing and had a feeling it wasn't even a conscious act half the time.

"Nonsense, Q, you're a veritable angel compared to your brothers from everything I've seen." Laughing at the ferocious scowl directed toward him, he conceded, "or at least, a lot more sensible."

Q shrugged as they circled one another, feinting slightly as they tested each other, "That certainly may be. Sherlock seems entirely ruled by impulse and Mycroft by his sense of propriety. Perhaps I managed to find the middle ground of the two."

"Sounds right. Though I'd much rather deal with Sherlock than Mycroft; too much red tape with that one."

Q laughed lightly, "Oh yes, heavens forbid you have to deal with any kind of proper procedure." Aiming a lazy swipe towards Bond's middle, he kicked out towards his legs, watching as the older man blocked both easily. "Why did you invite me down here anyway?"

Bonds eyes sparkled with amusement, smiling broadly as Q laughed freely, blocking the teasing strikes. "I thought you might be getting bored. Plus, I don't want you getting out of practice."

Before Q could respond, another man entered the training room from the locker room entrance, a derisive snort coming from him as he looked over the two of them. "Didn't know we were running a daycare. Why don't you go play with the free weights while the adults work, kid."

Bond and Q turned toward the agent almost as one, a chill running down his spine that he forcibly ignored at the stony looks given to him.

Q didn't even glance at Bond as the blade slipped into a more comfortable position in his hand. "I'm assuming bar rules still apply."

Bond grinned toothily at the junior agent watching them, "Kill them and you have to do the clean up? Yes, same rules apply." Looking over at Q, wicked delight dancing in his eyes, he let himself fall into a more ready stance. "Plus, the paperwork for killing an agent, even such a low level one, is such a pain in the arse. Or so I've heard."

"Why Bond, didn't you know? That's what lube is for." A show of teeth in a mockery of a smile and it was on for real.

~~~

The junior agent quickly found himself backed against the wall as the two men attacked each other, punches and kicks flying, the flash of light on sharp steel as the knives he'd overlooked swiped out at torsos, slicing through fabric though leaving very little blood behind. The two were completely silent except for small grunts as hits connected, making it even more surreal, their faces blank and a complete change from the relaxed smiling looks they'd had when he'd entered the room. It was absolutely bloody terrifying. He'd heard some of the senior agents and 00s were unstable, but he'd never expected anything like what he was being faced with. 

Suddenly, the kid's hand flicked out as he ducked around the larger man and a knife was singing past his head, burying itself in the padded wall behind him, merely inches away from his skull. As the kid latched onto the man's back, arms around his throat as he tried to choke him, the man's hand flicked out and his knife was sticking out of the padding next to his hip on the opposite side. Cursing his careless words, the entire day that led him to the training room, and his decision to enter MI6, he fled as quickly as he could through the nearest door. Maybe he should tell someone that the two of them were trying to kill each other, just in case it was some kind of weird drug that was in their system that sent them from calm to murderous all of a sudden.

~~~

As sparkles started to appear in his vision, James turned and shoved himself back against the padded wall, eliciting a huff of breath from the young man clinging to his back. He'd forgotten Q's tendency to choke out his attackers and had let him get too close. Unfortunately, with incredibly limited methods of stopping him that wouldn't permanently injure him, James was going to be forced to concede if he didn't get him to loosen up quickly.

Bashing himself back against the wall again, knowing that the padding would take the brunt of the impact while still applying significant force, he again felt Q's breath knocked forcefully from him, though he seemed to tighten his legs wrapped around his waist instead. He was on the edge of either having to concede or risk being knocked out as the edges of his vision started to darken when the door to the training room slammed open.

"Bond! Q?! What are you two playing at? M wants you in her office _now!_" Tanner stared in shock at the site in front of him, Bond's face red as the sweet looking young man he'd met before was attached to his back apparently trying to choke him, both of them wearing the same blank face that the 00s often had when out in the field. Perhaps it _was_ some kind of drug?

"Bloody hell," Q muttered against Bond's shoulder as he released his hold on Bond's neck, waiting until his captive stepped away from the wall so he could stand again.

Bond frowned as he straightened his clothes. "Is there a problem, Tanner?"

"A problem? I just had a junior agent come running to tell me that two men, one of which matched your description, were trying to kill each other in here. I was with Eve who had M on speaker, she pulled up the video feed and saw you being attacked by an unknown person, apparently the camera angle was not good enough to tell it was our newest Q-Branch employee. M demanded your immediate presence."

"Can we at least clean up first since we're obviously fine?" Bond scowled, crossing his arms over his chest as he felt Q moving around behind him, heard the quiet noise of the two blades being pulled from the wall.

"_Immediately_, Bond."

"Fine, fine, we're coming. Let us drop off our gear in my locker at least. Wouldn't want any accidents to happen." 

Tanner narrowed his eyes at the two of them suspiciously, but waited all the same as they gathered up a belt of what looked like throwing knives as well their towels and water bottles, Q following quietly behind Bond as they ducked into the locker room. Within moments the two had emerged, looking like nothing had happened aside from the state of their clothes and hair and the growing red patches on their arms and legs which would probably be blooming into colorful bruises later. Though, surprisingly, or perhaps not, neither of them had a mark on their faces and the numerous slices in their clothes were away from any truly vulnerable spots and no real sign of blood seemed to be present. It was scarily impressive.

As the two men quietly followed Tanner to M's office, he couldn't resist glancing at them occasionally, the both of them looking like nothing more than two pouting teens on their way to the principle, though it was almost true for one of them, almost harmless. Harmless, if you didn't count the way their eyes were constantly searching for trouble, the two almost seeming to have instinctually fallen into sync in their movements. M was going to _love_this.

Tanner knocked on the door to M's office, waiting for the call to enter before ushering the two younger men into the office and taking his place in a corner with Eve.

"Bond. Watson." Ignoring the surprised look the 00 gave the teen at his side, she continued. "What is the meaning of your actions today?"

Assuming parade rest, Bond looked at the woman before him, offering her an innocent smile, his body relaxed. "I honestly don't know what the problem was. We were simply sparring with each other during Q's break. I felt he was probably feeling a little stir crazy seeing as how he's accustomed to training regularly."

"As Bond said, I'm unsure why we were called here. We were sparring when the...gentleman...entered, and continued while he was there. If he was intimidated in any way, perhaps he should be retested to ensure he is agent material?" Q tilted his head curiously, nibbling at his bottom lip as his hands fidgeted in the hem of his tshirt. 

M looked at the two little psychopaths in front of her, resisting the urge to scrub her hands over her face. Just looking at them, you'd think they were completely innocent, charming young men, honestly wondering why they were being called to task. Spinning her monitor around, she hit the button to replay the video from the training room, showing them going from playful teasing to seriously attacking in a blink and the subsequent throwing of the knives towards the junior agent.

Q tilted his head the other direction as he studied the video. "I don't understand what the problem is ma'am?"

Gritting her teeth, she enunciated carefully. "You two threw knives at another agent."

"But, ma'am, I couldn't very well try to place Bond in a choke hold while holding a knife, I might hurt him." Q's eyes widened as he sucked in a trembling breath.

"How was I supposed to try to remove him without risking slicing him with a knife in my hand? I had to get rid of it." Bond gave her a confused look, glancing pointedly at the delicate looking young man shifting anxiously next to him.

M narrowed her eyes at the two of them. "Don't think I've forgotten about your earlier actions regarding a certain security guard and junior agent." As they simply blinked innocently at her, she sat back in her chair. "Get out of my office, _and stop traumatizing my agents!"_

"Yes, ma'am. Sorry, ma'am"

"Yes, M. I'm sure it won't happen again." Bond looked suspiciously at the teen as they turned toward the door. "Watson?"

"Yes, well, Mycroft didn't want me to use my real name, and it was one of the first ones I thought of and John didn't mind. It's only temporary." Stepping out the door, he gave Bond a coy look, biting at his bottom lip. "Besides, what else would I pick? Bond?"

James froze at the implications in that question accompanied by the look on the teen's face before following swiftly after him. "You little shit."

As the door closed quietly behind the two, the three remaining occupants let out several variations of curses before Eve and Tanner took a seat in front of M's desk while M poured a stiff drink for each of them. M gave a pointed look at her two most trusted employees, beyond Bond himself, in his own way. "Not a word of this little performance to anyone. Are we understood?" M settled heavily back in her chair as she stared into the amber liquid in her glass. "All of our 00s carry a certain element of danger and instability with them, they have to in order to do their jobs, but I really could have stood not acquiring yet another person with Bond's particular...quirks. Especially one who gets along so well with him."

"Should we try to find some way to separate them?" Eve tentatively suggested, though she realized the futility of the idea, remembering all too well how the two managed to evade everyone while they were seeking out Q's past.

"No, that would simply lead to more destruction and annoyance than anybody here deserves. I can only hope they'll act as a tempering element for each other eventually. Besides, young Q has stated he has no desire of going into the 00 program, he's much happier behind a computer, so perhaps his personality will shift with the change. He _has_ only recently achieved freedom and the ability to live as a normal person. I'm actually considering him as a future R if he decides to stay on and if he can adjust to dealing with people on a regular basis. Then again, from what little I've learned of his brothers, _that_ seems to be a personality deficit for all of them." Sighing tiredly, she watched as the video repeated itself on the screen, pausing it as the two stood genuinely smiling at each other while simultaneously holding each other at knife point. Well, she didn't become M by wanting a _boring_ life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I really hope this chapter came across well. Neither of the boys are hitting particularly high on the stability charts, especially Q after how he was raised. But they've each been trained in conning people and seducing targets on top of their more deadly abilities, and while they have great fun picking on each other, they are not about to let someone else insult their Bond/Q. And poor M, Eve, and Tanner are left being the only ones who really know what they're dealing with with Q and the deadlier combo of Q plus Bond
> 
> Okay, just for some interesting information, the following are the traits of psychopathy apparently (from https://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/psychopath/psychopathy-definition-symptoms-signs-and-causes):  
Superficial charm and glibness  
Inflated sense of self-worth  
Constant need for stimulation  
Lying pathologically  
Conning others; being manipulative  
Lack of remorse or guilt  
Shallow emotions  
Callousness; lack of empathy  
Using others (a parasitic lifestyle)  
Poor control over behavior  
Promiscuous sexual behavior  
Behavioral problems early in life  
Lack of realistic, long-term goals  
Being impulsive  
Being irresponsible  
Blaming others and refusing to accept responsibility  
Having several marital relationships  
Delinquency when young  
Revocation of conditional release  
Criminal acts in several realms (criminal versatility)
> 
> So yeah, canon Bond shows most of those, though a lot of those are actually dictated by the job (and I'm not sure about some of those last few), but it definitely lends credence to this Bond and Q having some serious issues, though they're *functioning* psychopaths at least lol.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bond's on mission and in need of Q's help, and he doesn't mean the Quartermaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thanks so much for all the love this has gotten. I will say, don't expect fast updates like this has been getting, and I actually am not sure how many more there will be. In fact, if there's any particular scenes you'd like to see, please let me know and I'll see what I can do (no promises though).

Amanda blinked furiously as she stared at her screen, typing furiously as she tried to access the needed files as the agent on the line drove her nearly to tears. "Sir, I'm trying, it's just not possible..."

"Let me talk to Q!"

"I'm sorry, 007, the Quartermaster is helping 004 at the moment, and..."

"I don't _need_ the _Quartermaster_, let me talk to _my_ Q!"

"I...I don't know who...Sir, maybe I can..."

"Bloody hell!" Gunshots rang out briefly. "Can you put me on speaker or something?"

"Umm, I...I think so?" A few keystrokes and Amanda was yanking her headset off, cursing herself for ever deciding she wanted something more interesting than working in the IT department.

"Q? Are you there?"

The quiet young man who'd started working for them a couple months ago, glanced up briefly, an irritated look on his normally friendly face.

"Bond? What do you want? I'm busy."

"Fucking hell, finally! I need your help."

"I'm not supposed to be helping with missions. Amanda is perfectly capable of assisting you if you stop being an arse to her and actually listen."

"Like you care what you're _supposed_ to be doing."

"Not the point, Bond."

"And if she wasn't so bloody incompetent..."

"She's not incompetent, you annoying arse, you just don't want to listen..."

Amanda's gaze was snagged by windows suddenly moving across her screen, some opening, others closing. Alarmed and wondering if she was being hacked somehow, she looked around, noticing the other techs watching the young man, funnily enough she could never remember if she ever got his name, as he scowled at his computer while 007's voice was piped through the speakers on all the monitors in their cubicle row, the two of them bickering and calling each other names while shots rang out in the background. Oh, God, she was so going to be fired. And, fuck, there went the files on her computer screen again. "Quartermaster? Quartermaster?! We have a problem!"

"Look, Q, if I give you some coordinates can you patch into a video feed?"

"I'm already ahead of you, Bond, who are you after?"

The sound of a couple rapid keystrokes from the young man's direction and Amanda's screen emptied of windows completely just as 007's voice disappeared from the speakers. "_Quartermaster!!"_

_~~~_

M gritted her teeth and looked at the two delinquents in front of her, one in person and the other on video conference on the monitor on the wall, and prayed for patience. Her Quartermaster sat in the other chair scowling while Tanner and Moneypenny stood in the corner, already eyeing the liquor bottles behind her. "Care to explain to me what happened today?"

"I'm not sure I understand, ma'am?" Q tilted his head curiously, frowning in concern as his gaze darted from the Quartermaster back to her.

"Like _Watson_ said, I'm not sure what the question is?" Bond's bored voice carried over the speakers, the faintest hint of curiosity coming through as he looked placidly into the camera, as blood and soot streaked as he may be.

Before she could say anything, Q rolled his eyes, a genuine expression of exasperation crossing his young features as he slumped back in his chair,arms crossing over his chest. "I told you it was temporary, old man, honestly. Get over it."

"I'll get over it when you change that _ridiculous_ name."

"It's a perfectly good name, _Bond_, just because you're a possessive bastard..."

"I am _not_ being _possessive_..."

"Really? Then what do you call..."

"_ENOUGH!_" M's voice echoed through the room, shutting up the two overgrown children, at least momentarily, and startling the other three occupants who were staring in shock at the two bickering men. "It's like running a bloody daycare. You both know very well what you did. _You_, Bond, nearly sent that poor tech into a nervous breakdown. She's officially put in a request to transfer back to the IT department."

"Well, it's certainly not my fault if she can't handle assisting an agent in stressful and time-critical moments."

Bond was leaned back in his hotel bed, an irritated look on his face, though M had a feeling it was more due to his bickering with Q than to the actual issue at hand. She glared at the blonde. "She has had no problems in the past assisting any of the other 00s on their active missions. You, however, have the people skills of a shark."

Bond gave her a toothy grin in response. "And yet, Q there was able to help me in a matter of moments, and he's never helped on an active mission before in his life."

"Which leads me to you, young man." M turned her glare to the newest pain in the arse in her life. "I believe you were specifically told that you would not be assisting on any missions for any agent until you'd passed your probationary period."

"Which I did actually point out to Bond, however Ms. Amanda was already in tears and rather than subject her to a certain 00's unreasonable temper any further..."

"I was not being unreasonable..."

"_Unreasonable temper_...I decided to put her out of her misery and help him myself."

"She thought Q-Branch was being hacked and we were under attack."

"To be fair, ma'am, all the terminals are set up for file-sharing, and the ability to access each other's files as needed, it's not my fault the other techs seem to be unaware of this feature. Perhaps they should go through training classes in the basic operations of their computers?"

M counted backwards from ten. "Bond, you will get on your plane at the designated time and return to headquarters to submit your reports and return your gear with no side trips at all. Watson, you are done for the week; go home. And the both of you, _stop traumatizing my employees!_"

"Yes, ma'am. Sorry, ma'am."

"Yes, M. Won't happen again."

"Be sure that it doesn't. Now, go."

The four eldest watched as the young man left the room before Boothroyd looked helplessly back at the other three. "He seemed like such a nice, quiet young man."

M turned around to fix the four of them a drink, something she was beginning to realize was going to become a habit, as Tanner and Moneypenny pulled up chairs. "Yes, well, in his case, looks are _very much_ deceiving. I would suggest having a read through of his personnel file at your earliest convenience." She slid said file across the desk to him. "In short, while a computer genius, he has all the practical skills of a trained 00, and the scarily similar traits of Bond in particular. We were rather hoping he would settle some over time, but..." She sighed and gestured vaguely toward the screen with her glass.

"Are we sure we can't find a way to separate them?" Tanner sighed, already knowing the answer.

"A computer genius that hacked all the major intelligence agencies and an agent that already tracked him down once with no technological help at all? I don't think it would end well for anyone involved, quite honestly." M swirled the alcohol in her glass idly. "Bond may have the people skills of a shark, and Q that of, well, his brothers, but the two of them function frighteningly well together...when they're not trying to kill each other."

"Yes, what was all that about his name?" Boothroyd asked absently as he began flipping through the file.

M rolled her eyes. "Q's brothers are quite well known and it was deemed a security risk for him to use his actual last name so instead he used that of a friend of one of his brothers. Bond has been sulking ever since he found out."

Moneypenny stared down at her glass and gave a short laugh. "You know, I never thought I'd _ever_ say this about Bond, but I kind of wish they'd just shag and get it over with."

Thinking of the potential repercussions of _that_, M gave her the horrified look that statement deserved.


End file.
